Hey Guys

Im back in sg woohoooo....

past few days have been hard with exam and some problems but i'm glad to be back and looking forward to a new chapter in my life next year....

i know u guys got exams so yea... i don mind meeting up for study sessions hahah...

Good Luck and all the best to you guys for exams

Essay

So yea i got back my HP essay...

and yes i did very badly or not as well as i had hoped...

i guess with my first essay going well i had kinda expected more and i though i handed in a fairly good essay.

Anyway i though i was misinterpreted so i sent it and a teacher offered to look at it again so hope for the best...

anyway i lost 20 marks compared to the first essay.. so it was a rude shock to me..

its my day to be emo again...

Uni Shots

Random Uni Shots

Pasta

Here's today's lunch. Same recipe as before only with mushrooms..

YUMMY

Studying In Singapore

Came across this when i was bored of studying and did random searches on the net.. haha

The Pros and Cons of studying in Singapore

Pros

1) Increasing International Reputation

2) Reasonably Priced Tuition Fees (you wud expect given the ERP and all)

3) Ability to work after graduation

4) Links to Asia

Cons

1) Lack of global visibility for Singaporean Qualifications

2) Vast array of private colleges with unclear reputations (also recall UNSW closing down there)

3) Limited number of international students

Link: http://www.topuniversities.com/country_guides/singapore/

So much for the claims of those "higher up" back home

-.-

and as a side point, i searched university ranking based on employer review and yea.. couldn't find any Singapore University there..

Am starting to wonder are we falling that bad. With the cost of living so high and people taking pay of 3.1 million dollars, what's the incentive for me back home now.

Hospitalized

Another day has passed and zero work was done. -.-

I wanted to cut my hair but yea the place was closed. rarr.. going to the gym soon later..

Anyway i went to visit my fellow course mate at Alfred Hospital today (which by the way is nothing compared to Austin Hospital)

He was playing soccer and got elbowed and yea.. it was quite bad and it was quite scary and heartbreaking seeing him like that and i wish him a speedy recover.

We went as a group and yea, it was quite different going to a hospital as a visitor and not a medical student.

When we heard what was going on immediately i think in all our heads we were review our anatomy and physiology and when he told us what happened, it was in a way that could be described "scientific".

Not all patients would say it like that and if we were to practice our interviewing skills, he would be the perfect patient, giving all the info that we need.

So just walking you guys through it...

Trauma induced injury to the abdominal area, affecting the blood vessels of the right kidney
Supply was cut off to a segment of the kidney was the blood was loss within the body cavity (two kidneys receive 25% of our cardiac output)
Fluid built up and pushed the right kidney quite high up, even higher than the left (normally the right is lower due to the liver)
My fren went home hurting, just thinking it was nth serious till he woke up and experienced excruciating pain and went to the ER
waited 2 hours till a doctor came and gave him an ultrasound and found the vessels of his kidney twisted.
He then went for a CT scan and found that there was a significant amt of internal bleeding and the kidney was pushed way up
10 minutes later he was in the Operating Room and underwent laparoscopic surgery
1/3 of the right kidney was found to be necrotic and was removed.

he will have another CT scan this thur to confirm and will be discharged this fri.

Wish him a speedy recovery

Spagetti Aglio Olio

This is the pasta i cook when i'm hungry... haha... easy to make and quick to wash. A real time saver.

Ingredients

5-6 Cloves of Garlic Diced

Spagetti

A little less than 1/4 Cup Olive Oil

Salt

Pepper

MasterFoods Parsley Flakes

MasterFoods Basil Leaves

McCormick Chilli Powder

McCormick Red Crushed Chilli

Instructions

1)Boil the spagetti in a pot with a dash of salt

2)Pour the diced garlic and olive oil in a non stick pan and heat till the garlic turns a little brown, being careful not to burn it or else good game

3)Once brown, quickly add in the pepper, basil, parsley, chilli powder and red crushed chilli

4) Stir well and remove from heat

5) Once the spagetti is cooked, add it to the pan and mix well.

The spagetti should not be too dry but not dripping with oil too.

For Extra Kick, add in my Garlic and Ham Scrambled Egg (Refer to old post "Late Night Snack") on top for a more balanced meal and a caesar salad for your greens.

Enjoy!

Gymming

So i have been gymming for the past few days..

hols are boring and i havent got down to studying get but i have to soon...

anyways my exams will end on 18 nov and im coming back on the 19th of nov. =)

anyways i hope to do one JC outing cos its been like a gazillion years since we met...

army and sec sch frds MEET up too!! haha

To Ter, Jm, Ls any ideas how to get in touch with everyone?

Chicken (Chooks)

This is My first try at Marinating and cooking chicken (Chooks)

For some weird reason, chicken is called Chooks in Aus and McDonald's is called Mackers.

Anyway

Ingredients

Chicken fillets (Thighs and Drumstick works fine too)

For the Marinate

Masterfood's Garlic Salt

Chilli Powder (Go easy on it unless u like HOT stuff)

Masterfood's Cajun Seasoning

White Pepper

Masterfood's Basil Leaves Seasoning

Instructions

Add Chicken into a bowl and season with all of the above. Add lesser Cajun seasoning and you can add whatever you want to taste more.

Heat the oil in the pan and add Garlic

Fry till fragrant

Add in the marinated chicken and fry till cooked.

Serve

Another Easy and Idiot proof meal that i find tastes ok.

Late Night Snack

Sorry about my handphone camera but i swear it looks nicer in real life haha..

This is my Ham and Garlic Scrambled Egg

Ingredients

2 slices of ham

2 Egges

2 Small spoonfuls of MasterFood's bottled finely crushed garlic (They have a nice taste that fresh garlics don not posses)

Pepper

2 Slices of WHOLEMEAL/WHOLEGRAIN bread ( Dont want the empty calories)

Instructions

1.Chop up the ham into nice cute squares

2.Heat the oil in a non-stick pan and add the garlic and fry till fragrant

3.Add the ham and fry till sauteed

4.While waiting for the ham, beat two eggs (not too hard) and add pepper

5.Pour the eggs over the ham and garlic and keep mixing/chopping, adding milk when the eggs are NEARLY cooked.

6.Serve

Nice healthy snack high in protein with minimal preparation time.

And most importantly, idiot proof

Austin Hospital

These pictures are taken at Austin Hospital which is where i'm currently doing my clinical placements.
Its one of the 4 Clinical Schools of my Uni..
If you want to compare it to SGH or smth, i can tell you for sure really no fight one. Austin pawns/mega-owns any hospital in Singapore.

The lobby kinda looks like a hotel lobby and everyward has a heater and aircon, unlike those crappy C-class wards that are absolute crap.

So much for Singapore boasting...

And i cant take any pictures of the ward for obvious reasons.

The third pic has a surgeon walking in scrubs buying lunch haha.. all doctors like walk around with their stethoscope round their necks haha.. (they say its a sign of professionalism)

-.-

Updates

For 2009 the rent at the place i'm staying at is increasing by 244 dollars.. sigh... 

have to start looking for a place to move to liaoz... and the though of packing and moving... realli tiring man.... oh well... see how

there's this one place too that i realli like, but its not that cheap either. but it has a nice pool and a great gym and i really need to start my exercise regime back...

like when i first came to Aus i gym-ed almost every day but now, like zero exercise... sigh....

lately dunno why like dont really feel in the mood for studying... but have to.... my 1 week holidays are starting next week and i hope to exercise and study...

and reading JM's post brought back some memories...

shall post them another time... got to sleep now...

take care

Cravings

I'm craving for a PIANO!!!!

i really regret not learning piano properly when i had the chance...

i realli regret not learning ANYTHING properly when i had the chance...

damn sad... i think the closest i have ever reached to being "sucessful" is in sports and yet... i didnt take the time to learn anyone well enough and just like skip from one to another...

but now...

i want to relearn how to play the piano.... haha...

and i wish i have a piano here is AUS.... anyone wanna sponsor?? haha

i believe i have zero musical talent...

and i'm sure my ex piano teacher will agree...

i'm gg to put it to the test when i'm back for hols... haha...

for once, i want to see that whether i can learn smth well if i put my mind to it...

Relief

well i got back the results of my test and it was not as bad as i thought it would be...

while its not excatly superb, there is still room for improvements and i'll mug harder...

its already week 9 and week 14 is the last week of sch... exams are drawing near and i cant wait to go home haha....

and i cant wait to say i'm in 2nd year Uni!!!!

i know i can make it...

and i cant wait for year 3 which will be my AMS year but that means we will all split up and go our different ways.... sad but oh well... long way to go...

just finished listening to online lect... bored now... update soon. haha

Wake up call

I'll always rmbr 09/09/2008

Its the day i got my wake up call... and  i think i've received quite a few in my life already.

1. when i failed my secondary 1

2. after i failed my A levels

3. The current one now..

so i just had my test... the first test that will contribute to my final mark..

before this, yes i was a little stressed but still within my comfort zone i guess. i did not have a strong urge to really excel (partly because i know i cant really), i just wanted to enjoy the course and get the AMS subject i want.

but the test was a wake up call...

my "welcome" to med school i suppose...

the test was yea... bad... but i guess i still think i will do ok (because i do not have high expectations)

at first i was thinking wah i still quite comfortable, doing relatively ok and not stressing too much...

then BAM!!!

the test shook my perception and rocked my world...

now... i really must mug liaoz... just to maintain my results from semester 1 (which i'm really quite satisfied already)

but yea.. i'll strive to improve and hopefully do what i want...

also i think that wah ppl in NUS work so hard learn so much i kinda think that will i know less then them. i was thinking that Melb Uni got less QC control on us..

haha.. then the test was like "in your face, here's our quality control"

so yea...

i guess the message is "Welcome, This is Med Sch"

PS sorry for the change in address has some "technical" difficulties. haha

Uncertain

Sometimes you go to a place and you wonder whether you fit it or not...

i guess fitting in is one thing but the most impt question to ask is "do you belong there"

sometimes i wonder whether i do belong in my course...

i see so many bright minds everyday and sometimes u just have that tinge of self-doubt.

will you do a good enough job when u graduate?

i mean... i have to... there's sooo much at stake...

but then, there are ten reasons i think i dont belong here..

maybe its just exams stress but here goes:

1. i'm the only singaporean who is in this course with over 8 points for O levels
2. the only one with no bio/physics background.. (poor science foundation)
3. i seem to forget all i learn really fast
4. i love to sleep too much =)
5. i take too long to learn, like more than double the time ppl take
6. my forte is still think lies more towards the artsy side
7. my tuition fees are ridiculous. and i don know if i can graduate.
8. i dont really want to compete in such a cut throat environment (mayb cos i'll lose bad)
9. i'm one of 3 not form top-5 jc and u all know what happen to my A levels
10. i may not get to specialise in what i wan...

sigh

if i choose not to continue, i can take an "out" option in my third year.

just get my Bachelor of Medical Science and say good night...

but yea...

i'll press on... take each day as it comes...

1940 to go.....

AHHHHHHH

ANATOMY!!!!!!

Photo scanned from Netter's Human Atlas of Anatomy

well so i just spent like 2 hrs doing hardcore anatomy...

see until my eyes pain haha...

haha.. but i guess i have to say... i love anatomy!!! =)

imagine that pic above but like over 500 pages of it.. -.- haha

but yea, its realli cool but damn hard to visualise and remember

nxt week i get to dissect! hope i can understand it more

and i just realised... eating 2 slices of garlic pizza 15 mins before dissection pract is not smart haha..

felt abit nauseous but nth happened =)

Updates

Well so so so...

Been mugging for one day.. well.. almost... damn sianz liaoz...

i find that yea i really like what i'm studying.. but for now, i still don really get the whole pic..

i hope i get it faster.. not like last sem when only 1 week b4 exam then i got it all...

this sem need to do well to get the AMS subject in year 3 i want...

Anyways yea on friday...

i was walking towards the medical building for a class...

you know sometimes when u walk u can hear ppl talking even if u nv really try to...
like overhear accidently

yea... i overheard 3 convos along the way...
though i didnt get the whole convo cos i was walking quite fast..

i could hear the gist. ie the keywords/synopsis/outline whatever u want to call it.

here they are:

1st convo keywords:
osmotic pressure
emesis

2nd convo keywords:
short gut syndrome
metabolism

3rd convo keywords:
histology
carcinoma

i was like.. wah lao... walk along the way also hear this kinda stuff damn sad...

sigh, now u know why we got no life..

in sch we learn, do lab

outside we research

free time go read journal, practice clinical skills...

walking anywhere also talk abt work

sigh...

and i think my whole life will be like this...

suddenly i find that when i go back sg i wanna work but i don wan anything to do with what i'm studying.

any lobangs anyone? haha

A Spring in my step!

=)

It's the first day of spring... new season new resolutions. haha...

1. i hope to catch on on my work

2. i hope to get back to exercising.

and i finally finished my 2500 word essay. i hope it will be good.

anyways i just got bad news. i heard the 2003-2005 average mark for my current semester is onli 70%. damn sad la.. i need 70% if i want to go overseas during my 3rd year. haiz... wish me luck..

anyway got a test coming up on the 9th of sept. 35 more lects to go =(

and i added more books to my current selection.

here goes

Pathophysiology of diseases

Anatomedia

Medical Microbiology

Clinically Orientated Anatomy

Clinical Examination

Biochemistry

Colour Textbook of Histology

Netter's Human Atlas of Anatomy

Physiology

Pathologic Basis of Diesease

Pharmocology

Current Essentials of Medicine

Signs and Symptoms

Pocket Guide to Diagnostic Tests

i think there alone got close to 400 bucks already. lol...

but its ok la... for some "light" reading...

update me ppl!

Hey

Replies...

Ter: haha... lol.. its like that one la... u study so much abt diseases u sure think u have. like i realise i always show the symptoms of what i am studying. haha... oh well.. some things are out of our control... cannot help one.

Angel: haha... i saw the star-like thingy mark made.. nice haha... ask him to teach me!!! lol
and i do not sound desperate on Jm's blog haha... i just need some juice to spice up my boring life. haha...

JM: oiz pics lehz... and when can we meet the girl? i can do a examination for her? haha... i need volunteers haha...

Ao: wah... how come emotionally detached? i duno about that. some ppl say its good for the job and some ppl say its not. but depends on the context. hard to say also. but i'm too emotionally involved one lor. sometimes see patient also cannot bear to look at them

anyways my life is around the same.

and i finally felt a liver, measuring at 13cm. haha... its some ang moh guy. he measured mine is around 10cm. dunno correct not...

been tryin to finish up my essay... realli need motivation. although i work best when its like the week b4 and i'm realli under pressure to do it. haha... sad rite... like i can do it in 6 hours just burning one night of oil. =)

but doesnt work for my studying though. haha... study i need lots of time which brings me back to my point i have a test on 9 sept. 40 lectures to study. sigh. im on like the 5th one. so dead. haha...

so im gg to try to burn the midnight oil today and hope it gets finished. wish me luck...

Sorry

Hey guys,

Sorry for the long hiatus...

Anyways, i've just been swamped with stuff, drowning in my work already.

So its now like week 6 of 14 of my second semester. realli cant wait to go back to sg..

The weather is freezing now. one of the coldest august in 4 years so yea..

anyway i'm doing my Health practice essay(25oo words)

and i'm behind in my weekly research

and i'm like 3 weeks behind in reading my lectures

and i still got a church event to plan (but it will be over by this sat)

Really looking to semester 6 which is my AMS year which i do a year of research. but first must do well enough as candidates are chosen based on results so if i want to get my first choice i would have to jia you!

last week i went for a clinical placement and yea...

saw a patient with liver failure. sometimes ppl just get sick w/o doing anything to themselves.

anyway moving on from that

yea... i'm still quite scared when i talk to them,

cos its the real thing, not like when u practice with your friends. if u say smth wrong, its ok and u just laugh it off. but with a real patient, its so diff..

plus their accent sometimes make it hard to understand

so placement are like those u see on televisions. except less glam. basically we follow a doctor around while he sees patients, trying to teach us. Then he will ask us questions and stuff. questions like:

what do u see from this patient?
what should you look for?
what sort of questions should you ask?

and sometimes he lets us take a history and do a physical examination.

One time we were in a room for 1 hr plus. and it was kinda boring cos he kept talkin on and on and i was kinda drifting in and out of it. anyway suddenly i was called.

he said "ok lawrence go suit up, you're going to do a physical examination on a patient"

i swear my heart was going at 150 beats. i was shaking la.

when i was wearing the "gown-like thing u see on tv" and the gloves all that was going on in my head was "chill chill chill" and "oh no what if i do smth wrong"

when i was approaching the patient i kinda fumbled my lines abit too also. suddenly all the stuff i practised just went down the drain. its just so diff from practices and i guess i have to get used to it.

still not quite used to the fact that i can get so close and get to examine patients. cos its like i still don think i'm qualified or ready. but i guess this is how we all learn.

but when u put on the gown and the glove, its such a diff feeling. the patient looks at you expectantly and you so want to say "its going to be fine" but you know its not.

helpless and lost are two words i would use...

but i felt it was a good experience and i know if the doctor calls me again, i will be better prepared. ok back to studying...

ps. thinking of doing a hospital attachment during the holidays =)

A matter of perspective

Road tax and car ownership charges have also been lowered to help the middle-income segment. While the recent increase in ERP charges have created some unhappiness, the overall cost of owning a car has actually come down.

-Channel News Asia

At first look, all seems fine.

The govt is doing smth right and i guess that's what CNA was told/is trying to do.

Looking at it, you realize its such a clever use of words.

The cost of OWNING a car has decrease but the kicker is:

The cost of DRIVING a car has increased exponentially.

So now we can own cars but are discouraged to drive them?

i wonder.....

Uni Life

1030 pm and i'm on swanston street walking home with a foot long meatball sub from subway.

(which is my dinner)

This must be uni life

Essays are due in a month's time

Mid sem test is coming up around the same time.

I am two weeks behind in my work.

And i have to plan a church event.

Somehow.. i know i'll make it through.

=)

NDP

On national the group of us (all sg ppl in our course) decided to arrange a get together to sort of celebrate national day.

haha.. like i said b4 there's ard like 20 plus of us and yea we kinda stick together. the melb uni singapore connection if u like.

so we had a pot luck dinner in which we each brought a kind of local food to the party.

so yea, i brought laska haha..

here are some pics.



The girls



The guys

me frying the keropok


all the yummy food



random shots..

if u wanna see more pics just go to facebook

Home

Due to popular demand i've come up with another version of my national song!!!

Happy National Day 2008!!!

(Sang to the tune of Kit Chan's Home)


Whenever I am feeling low...

I look around me and i know

There will always be ERP

Wherever I may choose to go



I will always recall GST

Always on the rise

Look down my wallet and i can cry

Just one trip in Singapore



This is Home... Really?

Even if i'm not Lee..

Where ERP waits for me..

Where my money always go...



This is Home, surely

Where i know you fine me..

This is where.. i wont be alone

For where i go my cashcard goes



When there are gantries to go through

My IU will cry a tune

There is comfort in the knowledge

That my money, they will use

So they build more roads for no cars

And just for Casino..

Just like the river which brings us life

I feel like jumping in now...



This is home.. cant be...

go orchard tio 2.50

Where TP wait for me...

To give me this month's lottery



This is home.. must be..

Go home also tio ERP

Expressway drive 60

No wonder traffic never flow



This is Home, surely

Where i know you fine me..

This is where.. i wont be alone

For where i go my cashcard goes

Copyright Regulations 1969
WARNING
This material has been provided to you pursuant to section 49
of the Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) for the purposes of laughter. The contents
of the material may be subject to copyright protection under the Act.
Further dealings by you with this material may be a copyright
infringement. To determine whether such a communication
would be an infringement, it is necessary to have regard to
the criteria set out in Part 3, Division 3 of the Act.

National Day

Dear Singapore,

Its been so long.. 43 years for you and 22 years for me... here's to you..

Onward singapore!!!!

I sincerely hope that all will go well for you....

I do hope you recover your losses that you invested. Some 900million rite?

I do hope the ERP gantries do grow cause that can only be good for you and us rite?

I do hope the standard of public transport can go up, as the price has already...

I do hope the new road rules like the red bus lane can deter drivers and get their money? oh no wait is that the plan?

I do hope you will continue to develop "critical thinking", i think its been on ever since i was in 6 or 7 rite?

I do hope you manage to stop the exodus of local talent overseas. I hope its not a result of policy and the system itself?

I do hope the SAF can find more scholars to protect..

I do hope we will find more white horses ...

I hope you can try to consider the fact that results is not everything and even if you say so, your actions do not show?

I hope that when i graduate, there will be something that will pull me back home...

For you are home..

surely........as my senses tell me..

where erp waits for me...

where the money always flow...

this is home.. sadly...

where i know you fine me......

this is where, i wont be alone.....

for this is where my money goes....

(sang to the tune of "Home" by kit chan)

Yours truly,
Me

To Ao

haha.. thanks man.. it means alot...

hows life been for you? back in UK already??

lately your blogpost quite political haha...

suits me lol

What is sucess..

Sometimes u do wonder what is success?

i guess sucess is rather relative...

growing up, i've never had much success, especially academic.

In primary sch i guess ALL my teachers hated me. success in primary school to me meant that my digimon won someone else's. Or that i would catch all 150 pokemons. and all i was hoping for was to pass PSLE which i barely did.

Succes in secondary school was also another relative matter. success in secondary 1 for me meant that i was the top frag for counter strike...

and as a result i failed my secondary 1...

so in secondary 2 i was transferred to normal and then i had my first glimpse of what success was about and what i could actually do if i put in some effort. i didnt have to work that hard and managed to do well enough to get transferred to express and take double pure science and double math. Though that would have to be attributed to my tuition teachers who made me believe i was not dumb, smth that my school teachers instilled in me..

but in secondary 4 i guess i didnt work as hard as i should have and scraped past O levels...

i guess it was still some success, as after i failed secondary 1 i thought that was it...

JC was the worst time where the only success i felt was on the rugby pitch where i did my job and people looked up to me. The classrooms were totally different, where i would sleep in lectures and tutorials. My teachers gave up on me and how can i blame them when i gave up on myself?

The army... was... successful. Considering the fact that i made it out in one piece, made good friends and had a good batch of people.

In Australia, i didnt know what to expect. i was motivated by something. was it success i didnt know. did i have smth to prove to people? that i was not a failure after all? whatever my motives were, i studied like hell.

Would i say i have found direction now? well, i guess certain aspects of my life has changed and i have made some wholesale changes. Whether that is good or not, that is up to those i know to decide.

why the sudden rambling on success?

well i attended the Trinity College Awards ceremony last night. where awards and scholarships were given out.

and the guest of honour was on and on about how we have succeeded. and he posted us a question. On our funeral, what would you want others to say about you?

rich? busy? hardworking? made a difference?

i guess i do not have such big dreams. i wont find a cure for cancer nor win a nobel prize.

all i want to do now is make an impact on others, one way or another.

seeing so many of my friends getting awards and scholarships. sometimes deep inside i wonder whether i would have the chance. its not vital to me. i do not need that recognition.

somehow i have seen past my materialistic/egoistic needs.

though a cash prize would be nice, considering the ridiculous fees i am paying...

All i got last night, was a certificate of academic excellence.

Though small and insignificant compared to others. I just have to look back and around me to know how blessed i am. and there is nothing more i can ask for.

i left wondering what is success and whether at the end of the road will i have done smth good with my life

i left knowing that dozens of us gave up at least 2 scholarships to study medicine. to reject my first scholarship was really sad as i never thought i would receive one ever in my life.

i left with a new motivation to study even harder, not for recognition or approval. but to use this opportunity i am blessed with to do smth good. and even if no one comes to my funeral. i would leave knowing that i had done smth. While leaving the world a better place would be a strech. Making those around me happy would be a blessing.

Hi my name is...

Ever had to introduce yourself to others?

I mean like say Hi my name is ________ and i'm from ... so on so forth....

In my new tutorial the teacher asked us to introduce ourselves to the class and say 2 interesting things about yourself... i was 2nd in line and didnt have much time to think...

and yea....

I said... my name is Lawrence, i'm from Singapore and erm.... i'm 22...

YES...

i have nth interesting about me.. or at least, nothing that comes to mind...

and another time,

i was playing this game at orientation where u add an adjective in front of your name to introduce yousrself to others...

eg..

Brillant Bryan...

Dashing Daniel...

Charming Charles...

guess what i said...

Lame Lawrence

which is close enough to Lam Lawrence...

sad right my life...

i THINK i used to be interesting....

New Sem

So far this sem has been really hectic.

In semester 1 we had 5 PBL cases.

PBLs are problem based learning in which we receive a clinical case each week and try to find out the medical condition and do heaps of research on it.

In semester 2 i will have 14 cases. 14!!!!

I mean its interesting and all la but the research time is mad. Plus the cases are really hard and its hard to contribute in class as the ang mohs dominate. And to add insult to injury, this sem we are joined by ard 100 plus grads and some of them are like honours/masters and the one in my class is a PhD la... sigh...

have to work extra hard...

Plus my normal lectures are killing me too.. did i mention? I dont like biochem =(

i rather do anatomy than biochem man...

On the plus side, we learn how to do an abdominal examination. How to palpate and check the organs.

hmmm.. i suck at it haha... have to have a good ear to listen to the different sounds. I hope it will all come with experience. Any one care to let me have a go? =)

i tried to measure my liver. It was 8cm....

hmmm.. normal one is ard 10-12cm... and since i am happily typing here...

CONCLUSION: I SUCK.

-.-

Semester 2

So far its now 2 weeks of school..

And yes... i'm dying...

Learning Biochemistry... damn sianz...

Learning Glycolysis, TCA, Oxidation Phosphorylation...

already no life liaoz....

But i have been watching HOUSE M.D. (Highly recommended!!!) haha

he's acting is really good...

Stuff to look forward to:

Every 2 weeks i have a clinical placement at Austin Hospital. =)

and learning to do an Abdominal Examination.

*poke poke*

No such thing as coincidence

Taken from Alvin's Blog:


1. Singapore Inc’s Temasek meanwhile ploughed A$400m into ABCLearning at $7.30 a share 12 months ago and has watched almost 90 per cent ofthat evaporate.

2. Temasek had invested a total of $5 billion in Merrill in December and Februaryat $48 per share, but Merrill shares have fallen by about half since then.

This with a sudden "sprout" of ERP gantries? Do the math...

Summary of Sg

Well my flight leaves in like 7 hours.

So what have i done in sg?

movies: get smart, wanted, hancock, kung fu panda

Food: laksa, bar chor mee, rojak, wan ton mee, chicken rice, pepper lunch, sketches, manhatten fish markent, fish and co, sakae teppanyaki, ban mian, MOF, Ma Maison and others.

I ate sketches at bugis just now..

wah lao.. the service damn bad...

we waited more than 1/2 hour for our pasta and many ppl who came after us got their food. plus they didnt even refill our water until we asked which is like 1 hour plus later.

and the desert also wait damn long. we ask the waiter to check in the end also he nv come and tell us...

nv felt like filling in a feedback form so much before..

-.-

studying: NONE haha (oh well, at least i have a life in singapore.)

Dislikes: ERP and rising food prices along with petrol cost.

i mean if food price go up nvm. why must the portion shrink?

Met up with: Jc mates, Sec sch mates, army mates (din go out much)

Overall it was a relaxing holiday, not much done but laze some. haha..

back to work...

sem 2 of 12.

wish me luck!

Just say the word: M-O-N-E-Y

After driving for lunch today again... i have to say... 

If all the govt wants os money, no need to come up with ERP and all the crap. Just say it out and get it over with.

Has the ERP helped alleviate the problems the govt CLAIMED it would? Well, numbers and poll may say so. (Refer to last post on not trusting stats) If one really wishes to gain insight into the crux of the matter. Just stand outside bugis where the ERP is. All will be revealed...

Well, the govt has reduced the road tax by 15% very cleverly. I mean, ERP was introduced to discourage road USE. So the reduction in road tax seems clever and will refute many arguments. However, it is common knowledge/sense that with the number of increased gantries and increased PRICE, OPERATING HOURS AND OPERATING DAYS, it more than covers for the road tax. So taking a different perspective, we can view it as an INCREASE in road tax. Smart.. Is it a disguise for an increase in road tax? Well, its up to you guys to say.

But what matters here is ... POLITICIANS LIE...

So with the new ERP at bugis on SAT FROM 12PM TO 8PM -.-

I was driving along the traffic light junction before the ERP and it was watertight. I mean, like really cars scattered in all directions. But mostly there are many in the lanes heading towards the ERP but their bonnets facing towards the turning lane( Their path of salvation). This ERP gantry ahead has caused drivers to take "evasive" actions resulting in Jams and possibly more accidents. Knowing how Singaporean drivers drive. No amt of road courtesy campaigns can help because once we all see a gantry, our BP rises and our emotion changes. Our wallets become much lighter and out cash cards see daylight more often too. And this is the real kicker.

The lanes that were jammed was near Raffles hospital and it was the turning lane for a ambulance. Imagine if there was an emergency and the ambulance cannot turn in, because of evasive action due to ERP gantries.

-.-

Also driving home, i saw a new gantry being built. You will pass it if you exit from the new KPE tunnel and once you exit, you are greeted by the beep of your cash card. That's not all, as you proceed forward, you will see two right turning lanes ONLY and where will that bring you? To Nicoll highway where ANOTHER gantry is waiting.

I mean, if there is a job that requires you to shake leg and wait for the money to drop down, ERP is the employee you are looking for.

I hear that as long as Singaporeans don stop using the roads, more ERP gantries will "appear" 

and it hurts to think that its prolly your tax dollars that go towards building the gantries. -.-

Well if the govt wants to stop us from using the road. I'd say lead by example.

Stop all govt vehicles. Use the bus la. 

Because soon, i dunno what will be left of the roads.

so c'mon, if you want money, just say it... so simple..

M-O-N-E-Y

ERP- ING

There is $1.40 left in my cash card.

I'm sure all singaporeans will know why...

I mean, once i was on Nicoll Highway at 7pm and the ERP was on. And..

i was the only car on the road...

Another time, i was out of suntec after dinner and on my way home via the ECP. no prizes for guessing...

ERP WAS ON TILL 8!!!!

i mean... its ridiculous that i have to pay ERP for going home. My goodness....

SO IRRITATING....

The govt knows ERP is never going to affect drivers and its just a ruse to get your money. They can say oh traffic has eased off... well... clever use of stats. I can just use stats during peak hours to say we need ERP and take traffic stats not during peak hours and say ERP has helped.

i'm saying dont trust stats so easily.

I mean... going into the CBD charge is still ACCEPTABLE(NOT DESIRED THOUGH) but going out? whats the point? And till 8? 

C'mon, surely its just for financial gain.

And if they just say it out instead of beating around the bush i'll have no problem paying. Easing the traffic on roads with gantries and jamming up other roads? isnt is making stuff worst?

Inflation, rising petrol cost... everything goes up, everyone is affected and oops... i mean not everyone, ppl in the govt are not affected rite? they have to same pay and i doubt they pay ERP(police cars have free ERP)

There's like a gazillion reasons for me not to work in sg. Mayb after the govt has made enough money then they will realise there's no more singaporeans around...

take the IR for example...

we pay 100 bucks just to go in?

Look at Singtel and Temasek holdings... all govt controlled. now IR too.. everything profitable it has to be govt- controlled.

Take the pawnshop industry for example. I mean its an old art that has been ard for a long time and yea... now the govt's in on it too. Ok.. fine, control the IR but the pawnshop industry... 

what the hell man...

mayb i'm bitter and i always complain abt the policies.. i respect what the govt does and they have done alot for us.. but are there other alternatives? and just come clean la.. if u want our money, just say.. don give us excuses so we will vote for u nxt time..

There are cheaper govts but better? i guess who's to say?

Just know i'll be applying for aussie PR... 

just in case...

Paint the town red(and yellow)

Hi all its been a long time..

life's been pretty slow lately... wasting my time lazing around and sometimes help my mum in the office. a nice change of pace from studying...

went to NUS bookshop to pick up a few books haha... managed to see the new batch of "meddies" getting their books.

and i witnessed the wimbledon final between Rafa Nadal and Roger Federer.. it was EPIC...

i mean, i really felt like playing tennis after seeing it(stopped since sec 4) i was deciding whether to see it live and i in the end i saw it. and it was the BEST MATCH EVER... longest in the wimbledon history. Nadal started strongly and took the first two sets easily, bearing in mind Federer never lost a set leading up to the finals in 2 years. And in the third set tie break, Nadal broke  Federer's serve and at 5-2 was serving for the championship. I was rooting for Federer so i was hoping he could pull off a miracle. And he showed why he is the world No.1 by executing an absolutely fabulous passing shot that Nadal could do nothing about to rescue the point and eventually took the set to force the game into a 4th set. Rain interrupted the play twice and Federer took the 4th set again in a tiebreak 7-6. Despite Federer's brillance and dominance on the grass, this was to be Spain's year. Nadal was in the driving seat throughout the game had the world No.1 on the backfoot. A mean feat and its hard to imagine Nadal is still only 22. Federer's near perfect serve and stunning forehand kept him in the game but eventually in the fifth set, Nadal managed to break his serve and eventually took the game to spark off scenes of euphoria throughout his contingent in the stands and no doubt back in Madrid. A dramatic finish to a 4hr long game spoilt by rain but full of drama and tennis from another planet. Nadal dropped to the floor while Federer looked in consolable. If he had won he would win a record 6th wimbledon in a row. However, another record was broken as Nadal became only the 2nd spanish to win Wimbledon after Santana to set another record and eventually stop the previously irrepressible swiss Fedex. In singapore i think i hit the bed at 5am with adrenaline still pumping my body with a crazy smile on my face. =) 

and oh... im playing tennis this sunday. haha

and oh i saw "Hancock"

i was quite skeptical about another superhero movie but this was different. It showed a different hero with a few unexpected twists here and there and an unexpected ending. It was totally unpredictable (to me) and so i would recommend it to you guys. 

Oh and i sat the singpore flyer.. 

$30 for 30 mins... -.-

oh well forgot to bring my digital camera as i left it in Melb so i took using my hp. lousy 2MP one. haha.. post them up next time..

Oh and i got a Macbook Pro

It rocks.. haha... 

realli smooth and the internet speed is unparalleled. =)

thats all for now. going back soon.. meet up pls. haha

Back in Sg

So i haven been blogging for awhile now... haha..

I've been back since the 23....

The food i've ate so far:

1. Ba Chor Mee
2. Ban Mian
3. Ma Maison at Bugis with my jc mates

damn sad... lookin to improve the list.. haha..

went to get my laptop checked out.. getting wonky... if it bu zhen qi then i will get a macbook. hahah =)

Scouts: outing on fri confirm ma?

Ter: haha.. have fun in the states... keep in contact.. see u when im back... haha..
US babes ftw!!!

=)

Haha... my fren taught me how to play this song..

If u asked my past piano teacher(whom i last saw like like 10 years ago...)

she would never believe i played it....

pardon my mistakes at the end... working on it... haha..

Weird

The magnitude of studying so much science just hit me.

I mean, i didnt realised that my course kinda qualifies me as a "scientist"

I mean two years ago or rather when i was in Jc i HATED science/chem to the core la. and bio i was like totally catch no ball.

This sem im learning like a mixture of physics, chem and bio as a short intro to the body.

So how did i realised i was kinda a "scientist" ?

i was watching CSI. haha.. i mean. last year when i watched CSI i was just like seeing the story and all. but now, i dunno why. When they say stuff, i actually know what they are talking. all the terms and definitions i kinda know.

and instinctively, all the mechanisms and definition float into my head. haha...

i mean.. quite sad rite if u think abt it but yea

at least i learnt smth. haha.

for my paper today. i made 2 grave errors.

1. i waited for a friend and was a little late
2. i didnt know how much time i had and spent too much time on mcq

BUT

i still think i can pass and that's my aim. haha. i just want to make sure i know my stuff. results don matter much to me =)

Still got like 4 more papers so hope i can do it. =)

here are some sample questions for u guys to guess/whack/try. haha

enjoy...

just imagine i got like 60 of these questions and 12 weeks worth of stuff unrelated.

-.-


1. Which of the following statements related to body composition is (are) correct:

A. Plasma osmolality is less than 270 mosmol/L.
B. Cell Mg++ concentration is greater than plasma Mg++ concentration.
C. Urea is a major contributor to plasma osmolality.
D. Cell K+ concentration is greater than plasma K+ concentration.

Answer:
1. If only A, B and C are correct
2. If only A and C are correct
3. If only B and D are correct
4. If only D is correct
5. If all are correct

2. All of the following statements regarding a thromboembolus arising from a deep vein in the right calf are true except for:

1. A thromboembolus arising from the right calf may pass via the inferior vena cava
2. A thromboembolus arising from the right calf may pass via the right atrium
3. A thromboembolus arising from the right calf may pass via the left pulmonary artery
4. A thromboembolus arising from the right calf may pass via the right pulmonary artery
5. A thromboembolus arising from the right calf may pass via a pulmonary vein

3. All of the following statements regarding skeletal muscle are correct except for:

1. Muscles crossing more than one joint are prone to injury from over-stretching
2. In muscle strains there may be damage to both muscle and collagen fibres
3. In an isometric muscle contraction there is no change in the length of the muscle
4. Stretching a muscle prior to contraction typically produces a stronger contraction
5. Active insufficiency is when a prime mover is unable to stretch sufficiently due to lack of flexibility

4. All of the following statements concerning an acute inflammatory exudate are true except for:

1. An acute inflammatory exudate has a high protein content as a result of increased vascular permeability
2. An acute inflammatory exudate often contains fibrin, which is derived from plasma fibrinogen. 3. An acute inflammatory exudate often contains neutrophils, which leave the circulation by squeezing through gaps between endothelial cells
4. An acute inflammatory exudate can be described as haemorrhagic if it has a high content of red blood cells.
5. An acute inflammatory exudate develops as part of a disease process and consequently has no beneficial effects.

5. Which one of the following descriptions of Class I MHC molecules is not correct?

1. The principal function of MHC Class I molecules is to display peptides derived from cytosolic proteins on the cell surface
2. Class I MHC molecules bind to CD8 molecules on T cells
3. Human Class I MHC molecules include HLA-A, HLA-B and HLA-C
4. Class I molecules are normally only expressed on antigen presenting cells
5. A cell expresses Class I molecules encoded by genes inherited from both parents


5 questions. 25% chance. fancy the odds?

=)

Dang it

Oh well... my first paper in uni just ended...

i just went to the supermarket to buy 2 bag of chips. -.-

says it all haha...

i left one whole page blank and plus some gaps here and there...

din manage my time properly. din even know how much time i had and all cos we went in a little late.

anyways. i still hope i can pass and think i SHOULD be able too...

as long as i don have to take a sub paper im happy for now.

Consolidation

After 2 weeks of mad studying... i feel like a robot

deprived of fun
deprived of joy
deprived of the outside world
deprived of friends

sounds about right...

but towards the end, when some stuff started to fall in place.
i found out i actually enjoyed what i have learnt. i mean. i reallli was fascinated by it all

don get me wrong i am not a geek. haha.. i'm not a nerd. yet

but yea. i cant wait to learn more. haha =)

so tml will be my first exam in uni life.

2 years ago i would nv have thought i would go to uni, much less be where i am now.

so what ever happens tml, i'll be happy i hope haha..

not expecting alot tml, just hope overall i will graduate not with honours or anything but graduate will all the knowlegde i need to carry out my job..

and i'll be satisfied

=)

at least i'm quited relaxed now. haha..

so here are just some of the quotes from my lecturers. enjoy!

"If you wanna do medicine but you're pretty dumb, do haematology.."
Dr. Paul Monagle

"P450 is about as subtle as throwing a hand- grenade into a car"
Dr. Graham Paslow

"Here is a real life... real death specimen.."
Dr. Jenny Hayes

"You thought it was love, but it's assortive mating"
Dr. Steven Harrap

"You got that? No? Come back next year and do the course again."
Dr. Chris O'Donnell

"Look at the backsides of sprinters--from an anatomical perspective"
Dr. Chris Briggs

*with reference to other lecturers* "They're academics, they're not that bright"
Dr. Colin Anderson

Dr. N. Strathmore: "So, is that a bit clearer?"
Student: "No."
Dr. N. Strathmore: "No? okay, I'm happy we got that sorted."

=)

more to come.

Jm: haha.. ur msia pics are nice but im still waiting for the Es reply. haha.. enjoy work. i wanna work too.. find mi lobang ahahaha...

Ter: here is ur update. haha.. hows post exam life. soon i'll join you

Ls: go for the perfume man. (pun intended) haha.

Yx: haha.. my brain power smaller than u lehz.. but its ok.. the dream team, we will conquer the world.

Ao: hows the piano playing going? hhaha.. i saw ur video on youtube. nice. looks like i'll be getting the programme from you. Update mi on your "STAR AWARDS" k? haha

Freaking out

hmmm... theres a weird feeling....

after a week of studying.... i mean... i dunno what to do le... sigh

anyone got tips? Alvin? haha... any words of wisdom?

I mean... i sort of studied finish but went i look at the past exam papers... GG. realli die -.-

i mean.. there's mani kinds of fear:

1. When u never study and u wonder how bad it will get..

2. When u study like shit and u are afraid u wont get full marks

3. When u study like crap and realise u still don know shit...

no. 3 is more my kind of fear....

10 more days!!!.

crap crap crap

Convention Fever

Remember i said i was going for a medical convention?

yes the fever is settling in.. my email inbox is getting spammed daily with floods of email

about?

how melb med is superior...

how the other sch sucks

how this is more like a rivarly/social/sporty stuff than an academic conventions

i mean, they have cheers and stuff la... -.-

PLUS!!! all ang moh gg and not even mani first years...

no idea why i signed up...

sigh...

convention fever? not feeling it and dont want too...

and the t shirt... omg man... cant say anything... i will wear a jacket over....

on the left it says along with the Nike tick shaped like a stethoscope "Melbourne Med, Just better"

and on the right along with the HUGE melb uni logo..

"Beware, may invoke feelings of inadequecies.

-.-

Consolidation

Oh my goodness...

Yes... its week 12!!! my first semester is over!!!!

11 more to go....

And my exam prep is not going well

i just got back my 3rd test and yea, i didnt do too well...

i was hoping for better but oh well, results are not everyting anyway.. not too bothered by it...

back to my exam prep.... sigh

i read like 8 weeks worth of notes and realised i rmb so little... i guess i study wrong or read too fast...

din try to rmb properly... and ppl ard mi like can rmb

sometimes i wonder whether is it a mistake that i'm here? like, do i even fit in?

can i survive these 6 years...

but i guess, who am i to complain....

i mean, so mani ppl are worst than me.... remember and send your prayers to china and burma..

meanwhile, i'm just focus on what a great priviledge it is to be where i am and how mani ppl would kill for my place...

so i will just do my best and have faith that things will work out

=)

Sianzation

What happened today:

8am-9am: Lecture

9am to 11am: Study

11am to 12pm: Lunch

12pm to 3pm: Study

3pm-4pm :Nap

4pm to 6pm: Study

6pm to 7pm :Dinner

7pm to 12am :Study

Yup. that sums it all up.. too tired to type anything else...

gg to kaplonk on my bed.... nite all

Mugger

This week starts my grand mugging time...

I Have a plan, a time table and i hope to follow it....

today been studying from 3pm till 11pm..

tml i onli have classes from 8-9 am... and will study the whole day....

and if i get bored... i will pract my interviewing skills with my fren... haha... great life rite? NOT!!

-.-

here's a mini self revision.. the following is just a small intro to body systems and i test myself w/o any notes... here i go....

1. Digestive system (stomach, liver,intestines)
Function: ingestion and processing of foodstuff for distribution and use by cells and the elimination of waste products.

2. Circulatory System (blood, heart, blood vessels)
Function:transport of materials between cells

3. Respiratory System (lungs, airways)
Function:the exchange of gases(oxygen and carbon dioxide) between internal and external environment.

4. Musculoskeletal system (skeletal muscles, bones)
Function:To provide structural support and movements

5. Integumentary System (skin)
Function:to provide protection from external environment

6. Urinary System (kidneys, bladders)
Function:To maintain water an solute balance and elimination of water soluble waste.

7. Nervous System (brain, spinal cord)
Function:To provide coordination of body function through the release of electrical signals and regulatory molecules

8. Endocrine System (pituitary, thyroid, adrenal glands)
Function:to provide coordination of body function through the synthesis and release of regulatory molecules (hormones)

9. Immune system (thymus, spleen, lymph nodes)
Function:To protect the body against pathogens

10. Reproductive System (ovaires, uterus, testes)
Function: For perpetuation of the species



This is the first set of notes onli thats why so little info... from here on its goes downhill.... haha
just an intro to body systems..

-.-


from then on we go into each system and cellular processes, all the variations and stuff. quite some detail le and then they say its for further intro to future years and its just the tip of the ice berg...

-.-

for eg the immune system...

got neutrophils, macrophages, B cells and T cells and how they control inflammation by releasing cytokines and interleukins and how the antigens bind to different receptors. How they are activated and the receptors got various isotypes and proliferate by clonal selection so on....

more to come in later details....

my nervous system shutting down le... haha.. gd nite..

Fa Fu... -.-

By special request:

Fa Fu: The transient condition of being horizontally challenged, as a result of continous built up of adipose tissue within the connective tissue layer, resulting in greater "resistance" and compressibility, stemming from being lifeless* and the summation effect of being a stressed student during winter.

* Refer to previous definition of Lifeless:

LIFELESS defined in lawrence's dictionary as : a depressed state of submerging oneself in textbooks towards a honourable quest for knowledge, resulting in a severe lack of social activities encompassing physical activity, hanging out at the movies and other random stuff.

-.-

ppl keep saying i lose weight and look skinny lo... so contrasting.. haha

A picture paints a thousand words

This first sent is my surprise party throw by my cell group.. haha... realli nice of them...

the home baked cheesecake was baked by one of my best frens here... so yea... its realli yummy... hahah... like way better then outside one...

This is the singapore med students. We had the bbq and like i said, there are ard 30 of us. hahha

This set is from the celebration that the med students had for mi... we ate dominoes for lunch then later went to KOKO black for dessert... scroll down to see more on the celebration.. haha





On the left here is the seafood inari that i strongly recommend.. crab with mayo and beancurd skin... man... heavenly... my fav.. haha

and on the left is my wardrobe... eh no.. i mean my sofa and makeshift wardrobe... its uber messy... haha... can die man.. i shld pack it.. =)

The power of science

Ever wondered what science is for? All the useless stuff u had to memorise...

Ever went up to a girl and stumble.stammer?

Even frozen up in fear?


Those days are gone...

Now u can choose from a wide range of SCIENTIFIC pick up lines...



It will blow her mind... like realli... blow... no kidding... KABOOM!

It WILL blow your date away (for better or for worst)



1. Using knowledge of genetics

Hey girl, you look my complementary strand of DNA... u wanna wind up together?

(rmb that DNA consist of 2 complementary strands winding to form a double helix)



2. Using Neuroscience

Hey babe, u know many other guys will say that u are hot. but i wont. (insert charming smile)

u have the ability to change the membrane potential of my brain cells and fire propagating action potentials which triggers various sympathetic arousal unlike any i've felt before.



3. Using Embryology

Hey girl, i am haploid 1N and u are haploid 2N. i have to ability to make u haploid 1N and together we can create diploid 2N. u wanna see how?

(male gamates are haploid 1N and female is haploid 2N until fertilization where they become haploid 1N and when a fertilizations occurs the cell(future bay) is diploid 2N)



4. Using Biochemistry

Hey girl, u activate my beta-adrenoreceptors, starting a chemical cascade involving G-proteins that activate adenyl cyclase and convert ATP to cAMP that activates protein kinase A that causes cellular changes, resulting in an uncontrollable stimulation.



5. Using thermoregulation

Hey girl, i notice u are not wearing much. Do u want to maximise our heat gain by conduction? though i think u will warm me because the heat gradient is higher at your end.

(Heat travels frm higher gradient(temp) to lower. ie she is hot)



6. Using anatomy

Hey girl, there are many unfaithful guys around but i am different. No matter where u go or what you do, i will be like nerves, faithful cells that follows other cells during development.



7. Using Pharmocology

Hey girl, i have a high efficacy. No matter what i do, how much or less, i will always achieve a maximum response.

(efficacy = ability of drug to produce a response)

and finally...

8. Using plain logic
Hey baby, i know lawrence. Wanna go out? (insert charming smile and my pic)

=) hahhahahaha...

so with such a wide variety of scientific pick up lines to choose from, why not choose one today.

get one, get out...

the world is your playground

3 simple principles

Pick. Execute. Enjoy (P.E.E.)

=)

sorry i was bored.... and i wrote this without the help of my notes so they shld be correct (scientifically)

haha.. but anyways... if u all wanna try go ahead man,.. muz tell mi...

i strongly recommend no. 8 and no. 1.. haha...

go for it!!!

anyways this end the series of mega uploads...

tml have to start serious studying...

exams soon even though sem 1 is not counted towards final score, i still wanna do the best i can... haha..

In reply to Jm

so jm that time u asked ask to tell u whether u are wrong or right...

ter say u are wrong.. LOL..

but anyways...

this kinda stuff no wrong no right... no black no white... there is no light, and u just gotta hold on tight..

WOW... THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS COOL... hahaha...

-.-

MOVING ON....

this is what u wrote...

"Love is great, love conquers all."

often i alw wonder abt this phrase whether issit true or not. but i believe this phrase is true most of the time, well in my context tat is. coz i noe tat if u truly love the person, no matter wad he/she does, u are able to accept it or at least highlight the problem out to yr partner and try to find a soln tgt. well this is a truly ideal situation. but things doesnt alw swing this way. sometimes u need to find a soln on yr own esp when ur partner is very pissed/irritated with u. i believe tat alot of ppl, guys esp, alw tell the partner tat he/she wun do it agn and so on whenever he/she did something wrong. it happens so tat nx time, it happened agn. it is like u are contradicting yrself - u promising yr partner and u did the opposite thing. there is a chinese saying - 'if u dun hav such a big mouth, dun blow such a big trumpet.' i think it is along this line. hahas. well i told my fren once - 'saying/promising doesnt mean anything. action does.' well i find this phrase tat i told my fren very true. ppl wud wan to see action being done, rather than empty promises.

Love conquers all? hmmm

spoken like a true optimist by perceived by a true realist.

i guess in love, u have to be realistic...

i mean, ur love is great it conquers all... but one thing it cannot conquer, is your expection...
which kinda arises from your love too.. which complicates matters...

anyways this is my own opinion haha... spoken from one who swears off relationships... haha
spoken by one who knows and believes in love but yet chooses to stay away...

=)

yes.. u can love a person with all u can. all your heart... but when your expectations are not met...

u will be disappointed and yes... your love cannot help u here because it is the love that creates the expectation...

like for example...

you are sick and u want your gf (using gf as an example cos i'm a boy/man/man-child, not a sexist)
yet you dont want to tell her to come or to sms you to ask u how u are....
u EXPECT them to come and to care...
and even though they don wanna disturb and dont know if u want them over, u are too proud to ask or just want them to come over by their own accord.

and if they dont... u will blame them... and mayb even think they don care if they nv sms u or call u or anything....

the fact is that mayb they do and jsut don wanna disturb u...

but the problem is u expect them to be there...

and the disappointment is realli great when u realise someone u thought will be there for u when u really need is not there.

and love cannot overcome this.. because u expect them to out of love

or

when your gf promises u smth but in the end cannot do it or say that she cant do it but cannot tell u the reason...

can u realli just say "love conquers all" ?

not u cant simply because u are human..

u can accept it or smth but u will be disappointed... in the end u think u can suppress it but for how long? is it realli you to suppress it? do u have to suppress it? will u crack eventually?

as long as u are disappointed... love cannot conquer it all... and eventually... u will crack...

so deal with it... even if its not the first time it comes out... do it...
and sometimes even if u say u wont do smth again... more often than not u will again...

for eg expectations...

as long as your partner falls short u WILL be disappointed...

is it your expectations? is it her contribution?

there is no ans...

love does not conquer it all....

but u can conquer love... with realism... and u will conquer your expectations....

and if u still cant...

do u let go?

or do u hold on...

that will determine love...

i'll leave u with that

A human island

An island:

1.
a tract of land completely surrounded by water, and not large enough to be called a continent.
2.
something resembling an island, esp. in being isolated or having little or no direct communication with others

Ive been wondering, is there ever such a thing as a human island?

They say that no man is an island and one person cannot survive by himself...

They say that u cannot choose to live by yourself but what happens if that choice is not made by u...

using this analogy...

Mayb u were once a country... u have neighbouring "states"

but slowly, by nature(earthquakes) or other factors(alienation, border disputes)

u start to draw a finer line... a boundary.... whether u push yourself away or other ppl force u too... by the time u realise it... u've already drifted away. (ie u become an island)

so by definition... (here we go again... ) =)

A human island defined by the lawtionary... <--- for the linguistically challenged it means lawrence's dictionary...

A human island: A resultant state of intense solitude, arising from segregation, invariable whether willingly or unknowingly. One may additionally feel that he or she is detested, unwanted and uninvited.

sometimes in life... u distance yourself from others....

mayb to protect yourself
mayb to protect them
mayb because u dont trust others

or somtimes in life, ppl force u to distance yourself from them

be it in an obvious way: "GET THE HELL OUT!"

or

being passive aggressive (which i find realli worst)

kinda like... when u are there, sending u weird vibes or by subtle actions/words that indirectly tell u u are not welcome, whilst in the process making OTHERS think u are welcomed by them.

and this is realli scary...

whether u distance yourself, or others force u away... the end result is the same...

if someone forces u away, will u stay?

yes i would. but not for that person. i stay for my own reasons as well as others.

tying this in with JM's porcupine analogy.

i quote:

it was during winter, there were 2 porcupines. fearing tat they may die from the winter cold, they began to cuddle up to each other. as they got closer to each other, their quills began to poke each other - in the process, hurting the both of them. fearing tat this may happen agn, they decided to stay away from each other, so as to prevent themselves from gettin hurt agn. however, the winter got too cold and both of them died as they couldnt get any warmth by their own.

however there were another 2 more porcupines, they both know tat if they cuddle too close to each other, they will hurt themselves. however to prevent this from happening, they maintain a small distance from each other, but still can receive warmth from each other. thus in this cold winter, both of them survive.

so the morale of this analogy is tat in a relationship, even the couple need personal space for themselves. being close to each other is gd, however dun get too close as it may infringe in each other personal space. thus the couple need to respect each other personal space and try not to infringe in it.

To some extent the moral of this analogy is meaningful but the analogy is flawed.

my arguement is twofold.

Firstly, the anterior part of the porcupine (ie face chest belly) does not have quills. so they should face each other within that part and transfer heat from there...

furthermore if two porcupines cuddle up to each other (i presume is curl up next to each other),
u reduce your surface area for heat loss and thereby reduce the capacity for heat transfer by conduction and radiation from one porcupine to another. =)

therefore if u cuddle, u are actually doing far worst that if u dont and just transfer heat via the anterior non-quill parts of yourself, maximising the surface area for heat transfer.

OR

secondly, might as well shift to a warmer place together.. -.-

using my theory of human islandology

in the first case, as soon as you hurt each other, u start to pull away...

in not wanting to hurt anyone, u actually hurt everyone...

why turn ur back at the first sign of trouble?

u are a couple, in a relationship together. u will hurt each other... no matter u do it on purpose or not.. YOU WILL.

why?

simple because u are in a relationship. U CARE abt each other.

if there is no hurt, frankly it means one does not care..

an eg... 2 islands fighting over smth on the border

the fight arise because both want smth and both care abt that smth. if not, there would be no fight

and if two of them distance themselves, no one would get it.

likewise in a relationship, u are working towards making it work and as soon as u distance yourself, the chances of it working is low to zilch.

so now what? distance is bad?

NO! familiarity breeds comtempt and i have been a strong advocate of this..

distance is necessary but there will come a point where u will want someone most of the time. u will want to tell the person everything. because u share so much together.. u cant live without the other person.

u will need distance but that distance is not for space but to realise that u cannot do without the other person.

"The true meaning of living with can only be found through living without"
-Lawrence 2008

so when u want space, dont distance yourself.

build a bridge across the 2 island. With each taking steps to meet in the center. each step is like a step foward to eventually meeting in the center.

if u dont want to, dont walk on the bridge. take a step back but your partner will be in the center, waiting for you whenever u are ready and vice versa. u can see ur each other from your respective position. (seeing in this case is not literal sight but understanding and accepting of each other's view points)

either way, two will be continously walking, eventually meeting in the centre and hopefully at the end, u will end up with the shortest bridge possible..

as per the second case...

the two porcupines do not cuddle so close... they suffer but suffer seperately...

the fact that they cuddle close already means they want/need each other and if given a choice(remove) their quills, they would definitely have contact.
so they survive not because they give each other space but they distance themselves because they think they cannot stay together and choose the easy way out, after seeing previous failures
using their quills as an excuse...
sometimes, u have to suffer together. even if u keep poking each other... u stay together because u share smth in common.

u keep tryin... so mani winters in your life... get used to it...

a relationship means sacrifice, and not turing your back at the first sign of trouble.

back to my analogy...

if winter crosses both countries, if u stay together, u increase your surface area and allow the winter to spread acros two areas...

if u distance ur self, each feels the full impact of the winter seperately..

and if u still have that bridge, meet up on the bridge and stay there...
(bridge got lesser surface area that the island and thus lesser chance for snow/rain to fall)
and if u zai enough, build a sheltered bridge..

so in essence,

the porcupine analogy is flawed and chooses the easy way out, using pessimism and space as an excuse.

ie if both porcupine work together to dig a burrow (work harder together) they will prevail.

cos they generate heat with the work =)

and end up with a shelter to house them both.

so i say chuck it. use my analogy!

human islandology. muahaha