A human island

An island:

1.
a tract of land completely surrounded by water, and not large enough to be called a continent.
2.
something resembling an island, esp. in being isolated or having little or no direct communication with others

Ive been wondering, is there ever such a thing as a human island?

They say that no man is an island and one person cannot survive by himself...

They say that u cannot choose to live by yourself but what happens if that choice is not made by u...

using this analogy...

Mayb u were once a country... u have neighbouring "states"

but slowly, by nature(earthquakes) or other factors(alienation, border disputes)

u start to draw a finer line... a boundary.... whether u push yourself away or other ppl force u too... by the time u realise it... u've already drifted away. (ie u become an island)

so by definition... (here we go again... ) =)

A human island defined by the lawtionary... <--- for the linguistically challenged it means lawrence's dictionary...

A human island: A resultant state of intense solitude, arising from segregation, invariable whether willingly or unknowingly. One may additionally feel that he or she is detested, unwanted and uninvited.

sometimes in life... u distance yourself from others....

mayb to protect yourself
mayb to protect them
mayb because u dont trust others

or somtimes in life, ppl force u to distance yourself from them

be it in an obvious way: "GET THE HELL OUT!"

or

being passive aggressive (which i find realli worst)

kinda like... when u are there, sending u weird vibes or by subtle actions/words that indirectly tell u u are not welcome, whilst in the process making OTHERS think u are welcomed by them.

and this is realli scary...

whether u distance yourself, or others force u away... the end result is the same...

if someone forces u away, will u stay?

yes i would. but not for that person. i stay for my own reasons as well as others.

tying this in with JM's porcupine analogy.

i quote:

it was during winter, there were 2 porcupines. fearing tat they may die from the winter cold, they began to cuddle up to each other. as they got closer to each other, their quills began to poke each other - in the process, hurting the both of them. fearing tat this may happen agn, they decided to stay away from each other, so as to prevent themselves from gettin hurt agn. however, the winter got too cold and both of them died as they couldnt get any warmth by their own.

however there were another 2 more porcupines, they both know tat if they cuddle too close to each other, they will hurt themselves. however to prevent this from happening, they maintain a small distance from each other, but still can receive warmth from each other. thus in this cold winter, both of them survive.

so the morale of this analogy is tat in a relationship, even the couple need personal space for themselves. being close to each other is gd, however dun get too close as it may infringe in each other personal space. thus the couple need to respect each other personal space and try not to infringe in it.

To some extent the moral of this analogy is meaningful but the analogy is flawed.

my arguement is twofold.

Firstly, the anterior part of the porcupine (ie face chest belly) does not have quills. so they should face each other within that part and transfer heat from there...

furthermore if two porcupines cuddle up to each other (i presume is curl up next to each other),
u reduce your surface area for heat loss and thereby reduce the capacity for heat transfer by conduction and radiation from one porcupine to another. =)

therefore if u cuddle, u are actually doing far worst that if u dont and just transfer heat via the anterior non-quill parts of yourself, maximising the surface area for heat transfer.

OR

secondly, might as well shift to a warmer place together.. -.-

using my theory of human islandology

in the first case, as soon as you hurt each other, u start to pull away...

in not wanting to hurt anyone, u actually hurt everyone...

why turn ur back at the first sign of trouble?

u are a couple, in a relationship together. u will hurt each other... no matter u do it on purpose or not.. YOU WILL.

why?

simple because u are in a relationship. U CARE abt each other.

if there is no hurt, frankly it means one does not care..

an eg... 2 islands fighting over smth on the border

the fight arise because both want smth and both care abt that smth. if not, there would be no fight

and if two of them distance themselves, no one would get it.

likewise in a relationship, u are working towards making it work and as soon as u distance yourself, the chances of it working is low to zilch.

so now what? distance is bad?

NO! familiarity breeds comtempt and i have been a strong advocate of this..

distance is necessary but there will come a point where u will want someone most of the time. u will want to tell the person everything. because u share so much together.. u cant live without the other person.

u will need distance but that distance is not for space but to realise that u cannot do without the other person.

"The true meaning of living with can only be found through living without"
-Lawrence 2008

so when u want space, dont distance yourself.

build a bridge across the 2 island. With each taking steps to meet in the center. each step is like a step foward to eventually meeting in the center.

if u dont want to, dont walk on the bridge. take a step back but your partner will be in the center, waiting for you whenever u are ready and vice versa. u can see ur each other from your respective position. (seeing in this case is not literal sight but understanding and accepting of each other's view points)

either way, two will be continously walking, eventually meeting in the centre and hopefully at the end, u will end up with the shortest bridge possible..

as per the second case...

the two porcupines do not cuddle so close... they suffer but suffer seperately...

the fact that they cuddle close already means they want/need each other and if given a choice(remove) their quills, they would definitely have contact.
so they survive not because they give each other space but they distance themselves because they think they cannot stay together and choose the easy way out, after seeing previous failures
using their quills as an excuse...
sometimes, u have to suffer together. even if u keep poking each other... u stay together because u share smth in common.

u keep tryin... so mani winters in your life... get used to it...

a relationship means sacrifice, and not turing your back at the first sign of trouble.

back to my analogy...

if winter crosses both countries, if u stay together, u increase your surface area and allow the winter to spread acros two areas...

if u distance ur self, each feels the full impact of the winter seperately..

and if u still have that bridge, meet up on the bridge and stay there...
(bridge got lesser surface area that the island and thus lesser chance for snow/rain to fall)
and if u zai enough, build a sheltered bridge..

so in essence,

the porcupine analogy is flawed and chooses the easy way out, using pessimism and space as an excuse.

ie if both porcupine work together to dig a burrow (work harder together) they will prevail.

cos they generate heat with the work =)

and end up with a shelter to house them both.

so i say chuck it. use my analogy!

human islandology. muahaha